No More Christian Nice Girl

Posted: March 29, 2012 in Uncategorized

Too often Christians, especially females are people pleasers. Unless they are standing on the alter, either singing or preaching, many Christian females are timid, shy & because of their faith fail to be bold, assertive & honest. This is my opinion, but from a young age I would read about being a girl of God & how I am to be. Nothing really told me that I can be bold & assertive, but to be “nice, kind & gentle”! Is this being Christ-like? Jesus wasn’t timid, He was bold, assertive & He did get angry (Matthew 21:12-13).

An article about changing the way Christians understanding of being “nice”:
Too often people, and women in particular, equate being Christian with being nice. As a result, they bend every which way trying to accommodate everyone, suppressing thoughts, opinions, and emotions.

“A lot of what people call nice behavior is really fear, cowardice, and even sin in disguise,” say Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler, authors of “No More Christian Nice Girl.”

“Many women are nice, not because they truly care about other people, but because they fear conflict and rejection.”

So these women smile politely–through gritted teeth. And when their passivity and false niceness don’t bring the abundant life Jesus promised, they try even harder to hide behind a fragile facade of pleasant perfection.

“Women believe that timid compliance and bland niceness are always the answer to the question ‘What Would Jesus Do?'” say Coughlin and Degler. “When this passive, superficial sweetness doesn’t help them, women blame themselves and believe following Christ’s example doesn’t work in everyday life.”

Yet nothing could be further from the truth, as Coughlin, author of the groundbreaking bestseller “No More Christian Nice Guy,” and Degler, a female psychologist and life coach, explain, and they offer an alternative to this “disease to please” cycle of desperation.

They show readers that emulating the real Jesus Christ–not the one-sided “nice” Christ often taught in church–and facing their fears of conflict, rejection, and criticism, opens up options far beyond simply acting nice or being mean.

“If women will risk being frank and firm in addition to being gracious and loving, they will conquer their fear and develop genuine, intimate connections with other people,” they say.

Brimming with enlightening information, thought-provoking questionnaires, insightful stories, and biblically-based teaching, this book will motivate women to allow God to transform them into
authentic, powerful women of true loving faith. End-of-chapter questions are also included for further reflection or group discussion.

“What’s wrong with being nice? Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler make a strong case that women need to be bold and assertive rather than people pleasers who try to do too much. I recommend this book to you.”

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