Help! What? You mean me?

Posted: December 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

I am afraid to help, not in a charitable way, but if I had to help an old lady across the road I would think very long & hard before extending my hand.

I want to help, but panic sets in & everything that could possibly go through my head to stop me does.

My story:

One day I was walking through a tunnel & there was a woman (she was an older white lady) ahead of me, walking towards us were two young girls (they were both of Indian heritage) who were probably a few years younger than what I was at the time. It may seem weird that I specified the races of everyone, but that will become important.

So as I walked this woman walking ahead of me falls, nothing around her, just me a good 10 metres behind her & the young girls the same distance ahead of her.

I slow my pace, hoping that the girls rush to her, but just like me they hesitated, but they soon quickened their step & went to the woman’s aid. I arrived just as the girls were helping her up. The lady explained that she had weak knees & sometimes they just gave.

The point of this story was my hesitance to help.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help, but that I thought that the situation could have gone very differently…

My thoughts during her fall…

    “What if she thinks I look aggressive?”
    “What if she screams at me not to touch her, because of my ethnicity?”
    “What if she claims I’m trying to rob/attack her?”

This same kind is situation happened a few days later, but this time I was alone & saw an old lady (again white) fall as she was crossing the road. Again I hesitated, but there was no one around so I felt obligated.
I walked over very hesitant as she was so elderly & helped her to her feet. I saw her bag on the ground & due to the questions spinning in my head, I just pointed to her bag & told her that it was still on the ground.

I totally hate the fact that I am afraid to help a white person, especially older people. I have this fear of them being angry at me helping them & accusing me of trying to rob them or attack them.

The strange part about my fear is I am in an interracial relationship & he is white, which be default makes his family white, but to be honest I was terrified when I met then, even my mother was worried.

I doubt all ethnics feel worried or scared around the white race, but I guess it works both ways.

I just wonder when will the world change that everyone can help each other without fear from either end of the scale, whether you need help or are the helper.

I guess everything boils down to the media, when the stereotypes are changed, then people will change their perception of people in the real world.

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