Archive for January, 2013

Bitter can turn into Better

Posted: January 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

@nickygumbel: Let the past make you better, not bitter.

This was a twitter update that appeared on my timeline & I wondered, how do I make my past wrongs make me a better person?

I am very protective of anyone that makes it into my heart, but they never realise that I am human; I can get hurt & that is usually how all my friendships end. I get burned, while they have taken everything that they could from meemotionally.

I consider this worse than just drifting from a friendship, because you are not emotionally broken when a friendship drifts. Friendships come and go, but when a friend uses you to off load their emotional baggage, it can take its toll on you.

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I used to think that only a boyfriend can destroy a girl, but I couldn’t have been more wrong! Having girl friends who don’t share the load, when sharing their emotional baggage, can really strain a person, especially when it is about a topic that is private & not for sharing. Secrets are hard work & it’s worse when it keeping a secret about an affair or illness.

Girls seem to be jealous of each other, even if there is nothing to be jealous about. Instead of loving our difference, girls seem to want to be the same or be the one everyone wants to imitate. This is how bitterness can form.

Bitterness is so hard to let go, but it can be redirected. Finding a hobby, or by enjoying your life, whether it be alone or by making new friends through activities that you enjoy, can help.

One thing to remember: A boyfriend doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, you must love yourself first. Then a guy can love you.

This is a good video about friends who are emotionally draining & you want to continue to be friends.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” – Carrie Fisher

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Going Back

Posted: January 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

I like reading about other Christians journey through faith, because I don’t think anyone born into a faith in God can stay faithful from birth to death without doubt somewhere in the middle.

In the Christian churches I have been to they always have testimonials (stories about how a Christian became a Christian). As I became a teen I had heard many testimonials & felt I had nothing to offer, because I had never been through any trials & just believed because it was all I knew.

I read a conversation between Dawn O’Porter & Carrie Lloyd. Carrie is Christian & along the way she lost her faith, but she found we way back. Her story makes my lost of faith story seem so trivial.

I don’t think my faith will return to how it used to to be. I envy people who can stray from God & then blindly return to church.

I used to be so carefree before I lost my faith, but now the idea of going to church fills me with dread.

I want to find my old identity in Christ, like I had so many years ago. Part of me is fearful because I don’t want my relationship to fail because I feel guilty.

We can not have life both ways, it’s the Christian way or the worldly way!