Archive for March, 2013

Courage to do Anything

Posted: March 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

I realise that I lack courage.

I wan to try new things, but I hesitate because of my lack of courage. I realise this because during my snow try I gave up, not because I wanted to but because I was afraid & the same went for skiing. I went up the mountain on the skis & I could have gone down on the skis, but my fear paralysed me.

Fear is a very powerful emotion.

Fear can dictate our entire lives, regardless of how people may perceive us, our external is not exactly how our internal behaves.

In my head I am very adventurous, out-going, social & fearless.
In my head I achieve so much & help so many people, but in reality my fear holds me back.

I don’t know where my fear originates from as my mother is very out-going & an achiever of great things. My father is a to getter & very much a performer.

I seem to hide away, not achieving my full potential & never sharing my thoughts or ideas.

I am on a quest at present; I want to invest in a charity, whether it be my time or money. I blame my fear for not being able to speak up.

The snow trip I went on was mainly to get more knowledge on The A21 Campaign, but I came away less informed & with all those involved so unapproachable I have struck it off my list of charities. There is one that is top of my list & that’s got more of a long-term direction & that’s Many Hopes.

I went to a charity event they hosted & their founder really was down-to-earth & spoke honestly. As I am so cynical, I would need to go to a more low-key event to find out more like I did for A21.

But… Many Hopes may be hitting my heart, it doesn’t feel right for me. I want something that I am much more passionate about & they don’t seem to be it. I thought A21 was going to be, but there are other slavery charities on my list. Some of them are:
William Wilberforce Trust
Stop the Traffik
Sophie Hayes Foundation-
Just to name a few.

One thing I do realise is; if I can’t face my fears how can I be an ambassador for any charity?
Especially when I feel my heart is drawn to charity work aimed at making people feel a value for their lives.

How do you become worthy?
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV)



Posted: March 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

Can we learn from our regrets?

I have been watching a TV series called “Being Erica”; she met a Therapist that sends her back to periods in her life that she regretted & she has the opportunity to change them. All the while she is changing her past regrets, she is also learning to change who she is today.

There are many things that I regrets about my past, but can I learn from them? I don’t know!

I am a closed door & one of my regrets was changing the direction of my blog all those years ago. My first blog was on MSN or MySpace (I can never remember which); I would write short stories because I needed a platform to share them to boost my confidence of others reading them. Not that I expected anything to come of it, but because I would get so nervous about anyone reading them, that I was practically having a panic attack over it. I opened myself up to criticism from the World Wide Web.

Later when I shut down my MySpace account I decided to express myself differently through my blog & stopped writing my stories & starting airing my opinions. Again I felt kind of liberated; I was doing something that I never did in the real world & that was/is express my thoughts or opinions.

I guess I consider it a regret because over recent months I have expressed my inner self, the part of me that is usually hidden. I feel that all that I express on my blog is some how changing who I am & I don’t know if it is for the better or worse.

This is not my only regret, but it is my most feared; letting the world see me for who I am.

We all have our regrets, but can we learn from them & move forward? Or will they forever be holding us back?