Is marriage worth it?

Posted: April 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

I spend a many of nights pondering “love”, I’ve only been (said) I loved someone (who isn’t family) once in my entire life. That person is my current boyfriend who I have dwelled with for 6 years.

There is only one question does love mean marriage should follow or has religion made a must?

I never thought I’d fall in love, not because I didn’t think I’d find the one, but because I never really thought I’d meet someone I can open up to. As the years have rolled on, I find myself losing interest in marriage & just settling with co-habitation.

When I wanted to go back to church, the main thing that was holding me back was my “living in sin”, but now I just don’t care. Is it every woman’s desire to get married or do guys have that yearning?

My boyfriend & I rarely discuss marriage & when we first got together were very much unsure of marriage as neither of us wanted children. Since then, my boyfriend has grown fond of the idea of children (which I attribute to my nephews).

My boyfriend prior to dating me never seemed to have young children in his life, he doesn’t see his cousins children & neither of his siblings have children; whereas, my sibling between them have given my mother 6 grandchildren & mad me an aunt 6 times.

My family is big even without my nephews & nieces, so it is no wonder that my boyfriend has warmed to the idea of children.
The one problem is that I refuse to have children out of wedlock!

So again the marriage question rears its ugly head again!

The other dilemma is my boyfriend would never “pop the question”!
It’s not because he doesn’t love me, but because its not in his nature. His parent are married & still together, but he has never wanted to get married.
His parents have never asked about marriage, but have hinted at children, which I have found to be weird as my mother despite having 6 grandchildren & no married children, has hinted at marriage just as much as children (my parents are divorced).

So it gets me wondering, do we have to be married and the whole idea of “bastard” children, does it exist/matter today?

Also a big issue that I face with the idea of marriage is divorce. I know not all marriages end, but so many guys who seem to want to commit to a girl cheat. I know a guy who is engaged & last year set a date for their wedding, but he cheats on his fiancé. Don’t get me started on married men!

I hate thinking the worst of men, but the media paint a vivid picture of men running from responsibility, lacking the desire to commit or just having such a high libido that they can’t help stepping out on their wives because women don’t have high sex drives (which isn’t true, I must add).

I do wonder, do guys who never “pop the question” are they waiting to be asked or do they never want to get married? Are they aware of their possible failings as loyal husbands?
My problem is that I find marriage too final. To get divorced is so costly & without children is it worth it? I know that love shouldn’t bring about the question of a relationship ending, but I am no optimist.

There are legal requirements that make marriage worth it, but should having living/financial stability be the reason why someone gets married?
But… Is love enough of a reason to get married?

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