The Seven Year Itch

Posted: May 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

There is a saying in regards to relationships usually applied to marriage:

The seven-year itch

I never thought that this was true in a unwed couple, especially from a female perspective. It was always a term I thought would apply to a man unhappy in a relationship that has run its course.

I am writing about the seven year itch, because I am approaching my 7 years with my boyfriend & I feel that we have run our course; there is no where for us to go from here.

From my perspective, marriage is not on the cards. I truly believe at this point in our relationship, if I don’t ask, I don’t get; but I don’t want to put the pressure on a relationship that is not intended to end in marriage.

So, I have made the decision to walk away, and it’s the hardest thing I have had to do, as this guy is my best friend!

The last 2 years has been my deciding factors for whether I stayed or went; he could have won me with the 4 words that every girl wants to hear, regardless of whether they’ll say yes or no.

“Will You Marry Me?”

It is as simple as that, this can give a reason for a woman to stay. I may not be very traditional by living with my boyfriend, but the idea of children outside of wedlock is just not a compromise that I want to make… As I have made so many in my life & I need to hold onto a bit of my integrity.

As my boyfriend doesn’t see marriage to me in his future them, staying would mean that he is deciding that I am not having children & that should be a decision we both get to choose.

So with the 7 year anniversary approaching we will be seeing it out by moving apart & beginning a new life & counting the years of a relationship with someone new.

One thing I never really knew was how much a guy could love & still not commit. I have dated, but nothing this serious & as I told him that I felt we should end our relationship, the realisation of an end seemed to crush him. Even while I watched him search his mind trying to find the wrong words to make me stay, I couldn’t understand why asking me to marry him was the last thought he had & only when I said “I wanted to seek a new relationship that will end in marriage not a single status”.

Having to end a relationship to bring the idea of marriage into his mind really upset me; has our society changed so much that unless you have a religious belief or come from a broken home, is marriage a commitment considered unnecessary?
My boyfriends parents are married & have been for over 30 years; mine are divorced, but I still believe in marriage, but my boyfriend doesn’t & I would have thought that me being from a broken home would mean I would have more of a negative view of marriage & as my boyfriend has parents happily married parents he’d be more likely to want a long marriage like his parents?

There is a song that I stumbled across & when I heard it, I knew it represented my relationship over the years. It’s a Rihanna song called Fading. The lyrics really express what I felt happening over the years & today I know that if I don’t go now, I will stay & resent him as I age & miss my chance at motherhood & even marriage.

You say you love me
But they feel
Like words to me
Well this just
Ain’t working
Stop thinking
You can run over me
Drifting
Settling
Off to
A foreign place
If I can’t see
What’s in front of me
It’s a mystery
Well then apparently

[Chorus:]
Things just ain’t the same
And I’m ready for change
Go on, begone, bye bye, so long
Can’t you see that you’re
Fading, fading, fading, fading
Away, away, away, away
I opened up my eyes, and I finally realized
Today, today, it’s too late
You’re fading away

Put a sock in it
Just stop running your mouth
Got my mind made up
I ain’t coming back again
No way, no way, no way, no way
Cause I’m so fed up
You got me messed up
If we hooking back up
Don’t press your luck today, today
I’m blowing you away

[Chorus:]
Things just ain’t the same
And I’m ready for a change
Go on, begone, ta ta, so long
Can’t you see that you’re
Fading, fading, fading, fading
Away, away, away, away
I opened up my eyes and I finally realized
Today, today, it’s too late
You’re fading away

Saw you turn into a ghost right in front of my eyes
Tell me what’s a girl to do when she’s crying inside?
I’m about to go insane, I’m jumping off this train
Whether wrong or right I’ll be gone by night

[Chorus:]
Can’t you see that you’re
Fading, fading, fading, fading
Away, away, away, away
I opened up my eyes and I finally realized
Today, today, it’s too late
You’re fading away

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