Christian Phobia

Posted: April 30, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

As I face attending a Christian Women’s Conference my anxiety grows as I am to associate with people that intimidate me. They are like a gang of mean girls already judging you before you have done or said anything that can be judged.

It seems so unorthodox that being around Christians makes you uncomfortable.

I find myself questioning my faith and even wishing I could just switch off my faith and leave the church, but I always feel a pull from God. I don’t really socialise with Christians, but I guess that’s the intimidation that I feel. I grew up in the church, but never mastered memorising the Bible so always felt inadequate.

Recently I read an article by Jennie Allen called “Being Liked is Overrated” she writes about her fear, but her symptoms makes me realise that I suffer from fear, but mainly when I am around Christians.

Being around non-Christians is much more refreshing, because I don’t feel judged. I can be myself without having to censor myself. Being perfect is exhausting and no one is perfect.

I guess my biggest flaw when faced with Christians is my perfection; everyone seems to think that if am perfect. When I got fat, everyone seemed to find this as a flaw, my losing part of my perfection. But I have NEVER been perfect!

I am flawed just like everyone else, I argue with my family, my boyfriend and I have our issues. Also I am socially awkward. I struggle in new environments and it takes me a long time to become vulnerable with people. I build walls because I get burned so easily by people.

Reading Jennie Allen’s article I felt for the first time that a Christian actually made feel like I could relate to them.

So many Christians put on a façade of perfection, which makes it so hard for those outside the church to ever believe in the love of Christ. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). So if Jesus died for us as sinners, then why do you have to act so perfect?

Church is becoming a clique!
If Christians can’t be accepted, then how can a non-believer possible feel that they will fit in (and could be why so many people consider some churches to be cults).

As Christians or just good people, we should be accepting of others. If we have a problem be open and vulnerable; talk to one another.

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