Archive for September, 2014

Update on letting go

Posted: September 26, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Update on my refund from Hillsong Church in London…

Well I contacted a lawyer, who advised me to set a deadline with the church and if nothing happened to then proceed with legal action. Not to my surprise, but I have received my refund!

Why did it need legal action for them to give back the money owed?

Anyway, now that that drama is over with, I am still going to be avoiding Christianity for now and possibly forever.

I have been going back over some past interests with the Law of Attraction. I can not at this time go into detail as I’m still learning, but my boyfriend has been serious about this topic for a while.

I am also looking into Buddhism and finding enlightenment, which has taken me to Law of Attraction and also neuro-mapping. Neuro-mapping is something to do with re-programming your mind to dispel negative conditioning.

I could be explaining this all wrong, but this is a new venture in my life and as I begin to garner understanding, in future posts I hope I can readdress this topic and explain it with more clairty.


I have had so many disasters with the church and I have reached the end of my tether. I am currently in a dispute with a church over money owed to me, which they have agreed upon.

I am usually a tolerant person, but being ripped off by a church is not my idea of fun. So many people would walk away spouting that “it’s God Will“, but really… Is this what God had in mind when he asked us to go be examples?

I have not met one person who is a non-believer that has a positive thing to say about the church or its inhabitants. I have even stopped defending them because I have not had a good experience with Christians and I was one.

My dispute is with Hillsong Church in London. I tried and failed to purchase tickets to an event that I wanted to take my non-believer boyfriend. Unfortunately, I was unable sort out the issues before the event and so could not attend. I contacted them and they agreed to refund me my money, but they have not! Now months later I am frustrated with everything!!

I have decided that I will cut ties with church (I was not a member of Hillsong church), but they are not my first incident with a church. So this has also got me questioning the existence of God.

I have been looking at Buddhism, because it is not based on putting some person on a pedestal. It is based on an individual journey of self discovery. I am so sick of being disappointed with God!

I am very much a Doubting Thomas, I have not found anything positive in the Christian Faith, just judgement and misery. I feel as though life is a punishment. My years away from the church were empty, but I felt free from my shackles of a vengeful God, who seemed to be strangling the life out of me.

I want to fill my emptiness, but I don’t think that Christianity is the key. I find Christianity self-righteous and judgemental. They have leaders ripping off people and brain-washing them into praising those standing on the stage… Where is God in all the glitter?

I think I will do my research on other religions and even science because to be honest, we strive for some explanation about our existence and purpose in life.

What if we are just particles compressed together to create a living thing and when we die, we are nothing?

Life is so complex, and limiting my mind to Christianity without any consideration for other possibilities, is a waste of my existence.