I think it’s time to let go…

Posted: September 24, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

I have had so many disasters with the church and I have reached the end of my tether. I am currently in a dispute with a church over money owed to me, which they have agreed upon.

I am usually a tolerant person, but being ripped off by a church is not my idea of fun. So many people would walk away spouting that “it’s God Will“, but really… Is this what God had in mind when he asked us to go be examples?

I have not met one person who is a non-believer that has a positive thing to say about the church or its inhabitants. I have even stopped defending them because I have not had a good experience with Christians and I was one.

My dispute is with Hillsong Church in London. I tried and failed to purchase tickets to an event that I wanted to take my non-believer boyfriend. Unfortunately, I was unable sort out the issues before the event and so could not attend. I contacted them and they agreed to refund me my money, but they have not! Now months later I am frustrated with everything!!

I have decided that I will cut ties with church (I was not a member of Hillsong church), but they are not my first incident with a church. So this has also got me questioning the existence of God.

I have been looking at Buddhism, because it is not based on putting some person on a pedestal. It is based on an individual journey of self discovery. I am so sick of being disappointed with God!

I am very much a Doubting Thomas, I have not found anything positive in the Christian Faith, just judgement and misery. I feel as though life is a punishment. My years away from the church were empty, but I felt free from my shackles of a vengeful God, who seemed to be strangling the life out of me.

I want to fill my emptiness, but I don’t think that Christianity is the key. I find Christianity self-righteous and judgemental. They have leaders ripping off people and brain-washing them into praising those standing on the stage… Where is God in all the glitter?

I think I will do my research on other religions and even science because to be honest, we strive for some explanation about our existence and purpose in life.

What if we are just particles compressed together to create a living thing and when we die, we are nothing?

Life is so complex, and limiting my mind to Christianity without any consideration for other possibilities, is a waste of my existence.

  1. relinquishedreversal says:

    When I decided I had enough with Christianity I took a break from religion. I went years without any faith in any system. And when I was readyI shopped around – I researched. I look at all religions and then I checked them out by visiting their place of practice. The ones I was curious about I returned to until I found one I felt accepted me as I am and valued what I had to offer. I haven’t turned back. It was a good decision. I feel like I should have been here all along. I wish you well on your journey 🙂

  2. relinquishedreversal says:

    My version of Buddhism allows a person to have a belief in God or gods as well, I am an Atheist Buddhist, and there are Buddhists that believe in God too (and Agnostic Buddhists), so one could eat their cake and have it too should he/she decide on it down the road.. That is how accepting Buddhism is.

  3. irenelouisa says:

    Sorry it has taken me so long to firstly read your reply and secondly reply. Your words are so true, I am still taking a long break from religion and feel so much better and free for doing so. I can understand why you were drawn to Buddhism, but I currently and happy being one with me and the world without any ties to religion. Thanks for your comment and again my apologies for the very late response.

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