Archive for September, 2017

When I look at the people that speak about being enlighten or woke; they are usually men and I was wondering why men find it so easy to be in the present moment and believing the ideology of nothing is real but a creation of speaking into ones existence.

I realized that personally I find the idea scary.

I have just become a mother and the idea that in my death I will no longer remember my child or the life I have just left, frightens me. My mortality has become a real issue for me and I live in hope that when I die, I will not forget this experience.

When people talk about reincarnation I find that it must mean that our old life is forgotten. Some people even talk about us being one with the universe but they never talk about an experience of love for the people they have known in their lifetime.

So the reason why I am writing this post was due to a video I watched on YouTube.

At 2:38 of the video a woman explains her near death experience and I realize that I’ve had a similar story. I never forgot the experience but I didn’t realize that I had a near death experience until I listened to her story.

This made me think about my daughter and if I were to die will I remember my love for her?

Throughout life whether we join a religion or not, there is a collective question:

What happens when we die?

We are very unlikely to get an answer to this question but i do belive that dying is quite peaceful. (from my near death experience.)


So I subscribe to few channels on YouTube and some of these people really resonate with me because I can see myself. This video for example of someone that reminds of some of my down days.

This video is of Trisha Paytas and she is pouring her heart out. I truly can relate to some of what she is saying in this video. Since I became a mother I have faced so much body shaming from mainly females (most of which are family). Here is the video:

Some times when I watch Trisha it’s like I’m seeing my inner self in human form. Sometimes I can see her loneliness even when she seems happy and together. I see her vlogs as her finding company when is she feeling lonely. I can relate because I used and sometimes still do use my blog to vent thoughts that I know my real world friends just couldn’t understand or relate to.

I sound a little ungrateful for the life I have, but this is not intended to sound as such it’s more a realisation to the fact that we are all hiding behind some kind of mask. This happens because especially as females perfection is what the media are portraying at the current moment. Individuality or difference is considered gross, scary or just plain wrong.

I think the fear we have for being the one that is considered differs is why there is so much hate, shaming or even attacks. We fear what we don’t know, instead of trying to understand what is different. We appropriate different cultures all the time but in some instances we belittle/reject the people of that culture. We need to learn to appreciate the original sources that inspire us.

When we look at people’s images online we need to remember the human behind the photo. There are real feelings and suffering; remember you may share a photo one day and would you want to be shamed?