Posts Tagged ‘Mindfulness’

When I look at the people that speak about being enlighten or woke; they are usually men and I was wondering why men find it so easy to be in the present moment and believing the ideology of nothing is real but a creation of speaking into ones existence.

I realized that personally I find the idea scary.

I have just become a mother and the idea that in my death I will no longer remember my child or the life I have just left, frightens me. My mortality has become a real issue for me and I live in hope that when I die, I will not forget this experience.

When people talk about reincarnation I find that it must mean that our old life is forgotten. Some people even talk about us being one with the universe but they never talk about an experience of love for the people they have known in their lifetime.

So the reason why I am writing this post was due to a video I watched on YouTube.

At 2:38 of the video a woman explains her near death experience and I realize that I’ve had a similar story. I never forgot the experience but I didn’t realize that I had a near death experience until I listened to her story.

This made me think about my daughter and if I were to die will I remember my love for her?

Throughout life whether we join a religion or not, there is a collective question:

What happens when we die?

We are very unlikely to get an answer to this question but i do belive that dying is quite peaceful. (from my near death experience.)


Since moving away from the Christian Church, I have been searching a meaning to life. I felt like all the bad that happened in my life was a punishment from God, but was so confused by God being Love because the Church was always preaching fire and brimstone.

I am not looking for a new religion… Organised religion is so corrupted and leaders interpret the meaning of all text and judge individuals instead of Love individuals.

So I have been reading many books about meditation, mindfulness and stuff relating to consciousness. I have also been watching as much info from leading experts and individuals who are on this kind of journey.

I watched a video from Spirit Science on YouTube and it really interested me, especially the ideas about Jesus. This is due to my background growing up as a Christian.

51m 01s into video it explains the life of Jesus but that got me to question other aspects of the Bible. Like Elijah who never died, but ascended to heaven.

11 As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind. 12 Elisha saw this and cried out, “My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!” And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his garment and tore it in two. (‭2 Kings‬ ‭2‬:‭11-12‬ NIV)

I was interested and wanted to contact those behinde Spirit Science, but didn’t really know how as many of the videos I began watching were old. But due to my ego I felt uneasy about contacting them too, so that is how this post came about.

I am not a believer, but I want to believe that there is more to our existence than being born, going to school and spending the remainder of you life working to live. 

I read A book called Peace is Every Step by Thích Nhất Hạnh and followed that with A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I struggled to get an understanding of all this until I read those books. Unfortunately, with this new understanding comes disappointment with my current life. I want more… 

I don’t mean money or success, but life.

I feel like I have been cheated, all my life I have been put on a road to nowhere and now after all these years of being on the wrong bus, I am trying to get off and don’t know how. We have got stuck in the cycle of a life that destroys. The rates of depression is increasing, uncurable illnesses are running rampant and the divide between rich and poor is increasing drastically. 

Spirit Science has a whole range of videos about life, geometry and spirituality. Some of which I find hard to believe, but it has peaked my curiosity. If we have lost our memory, is there anyway of getting it back? Also moving through dimensions, is that not possible for us lowly level 2’s to ascend to a higher dimension.

I was also intrigued by the merkaba and how it can stop the cycle of memory loss during the procession of the equinox. I find that there is so much information and so little time to put it into practice. I guess being a level 2 being freaks me out a little because I feel like I am not meant to gain this higher consciousness.

This is all putting the pressure of Christianity back into place of hierarchy. Those who pass and those that fail to live up to the enlightened beings. Also as a short person the whole levels associated with Hightower didn’t give me much confidence either.

This all seems very farfetched but there has to be truth to this on some scale; because why then do we have no memory of life before or after death. Why do we seek to know more about where we come from and where we are a going?

I want to experience all that this life can offer, but I want a true understanding of why I am doing it. What is the experience for, but hopefully I can find out before it’s too late!